Saturday, March 20, 2010

A Very Slow Learnef

The Calm Sea after the Storm
Slow learner

Well I am now in trouble BIG TIME
Seems sailor was IM'ing with my granddaughter,
And she spilled the beans

When ever sailor and I talked, I have always been able to
as he puts it wiggle away from something I do not want to talk about.
And that is exactly what I have been doing for some time, when it came to questions about my health.
I always had a sneeky feeling that he did not believe me.

Well in this mornings email there was a big one liner
then my granddaughter emailed and said "Sorry ", I thought he Knew.

I seem to be such a slow learner,
And just do not listen to the voices of the spirits.

With work the way it was going,
and other life problems,

Instead of going down to the ocean,
I tried to handle everything alone,
and ended up getting very badly run down

Even when I was home in February,
I was able to wiggle out of questions,
Only because we had so much
going on.

By the time I did get to the beach,
The tide seemed to be so far out,
And I felt as though I was stranded on a sandbar,
With an angry sea between me and the shore
I had no choice but to stop and listen ,
I sat down on the wet sand and cried,
and begged for the healing help of the sea

And ...........

My beloved ocean recued me once again
And as the waves abosorbed my tears,
and gently teased my toes

She entered my heart and soul, and made me hear ,
that which I needed to hear.

She removed the chains of doubt from my mind and heart.
Showed me the special man that I am married to.
She restored my balance and my strength,
Then showed me the path back to shore,

Seems one must become lost,
in order to find their way.

So now with feet back firmly on the ground,
I phoned my sailor,

I explained to him what has been going on,
And that having never had someone that ever stood beside me,
I just naturally tried to handle things alone.
And in doing so, for a time I forgot him, and the sea.

We talked along time,
We cried together,
And we laughed.

Then he said we would discuss this further, when I do get home.
I asked him if this was another entry in his darn book
He said yes, but the sentence would be reduced,
But I would not be let off the hook
Sailor said that I have to learn that there are two of us now
to handle all problems.

Perhaps once I am home to stay,
having someone to share things with will become natural to me.

I sure hope so.

I am so very lucky to have such a loving and caring husband
One who is so patient with me
And who I know deep in my heart ,
will always be there for me and for us.
I just have to remember that.

My friend Dr Ken once said to me:

Sure, the tide ebbs...
but it always flows back in,
and when it does,
it can be overwhelming and fulfilling
and he hoped I always found high tide...

Well I do have alot of high tides, but also many low ones
but since I met all of you wonderful friends
The low ones are easier to deal with, cause there is always someone to talk to.

Hugs to all
Lil Sam

1 comment:

Elysia said...

Lil Sam,
This touched my heart, as your posts usually do. As I scrolled up to see that lovely photo of the Calm after the Storm, I glanced to the right and reread your *About Me*. Newly married to a husband who is your partner and best friend. How wonderful that is, and how lucky you are! But still the fact that it's still new means you're both still in that adjustment phase, which you recognize. I'm sure it will come more naturally with time, like you say. He sounds very dependable, much like the tide that you've come to know and love. I'm sure that your anxious to feel the waves of his love wash over you. Such a beautiful post!